I still want a guarantee before I let desire become visible

Dear Delyara, That’s what fear does in me. It doesn’t make me hate the dream. It makes me want protection before I admit I care. I want certainty before effort becomes visible. I want safety before wanting becomes public. I want some emotional insurance before I let myself be seen trying and not yet winning. Life does not often offer that. So I stay in preparation too long. I think some of the most costly delays in my life have come from wanting to feel emotionally insured before acting. That is not how courage works. I know that. It still tempts me.