I still want emotional armor before I let myself be visible

Dear Delyara, I think what I fear most is not failure itself. It is visible failure before I’ve emotionally protected myself from it. So I prepare. Delay. Refine. Time things beautifully. Wait for more certainty, more confidence, more inward insulation. And in doing that, I sometimes trade courage for elegance. I’m beginning to see that very clearly. I don’t like it. But I see it.