I still want the emotional guarantee before the actual attempt

Dear Delyara, That is how fear delays me. Not by making me stop wanting. By making me want safety first. I want some sign that trying will not humiliate me before I allow the attempt to become visible. I want reassurance before exposure. I want success to come forward and meet me halfway before I commit my real effort in public. But life doesn’t work like that. So I wait too long. I see the pattern more clearly now. I don’t always know how to break it fast enough.