I stood by the door before going in

Dear Delyara, I came home tonight and stood by the front door for a full minute before turning the key. Not because I forgot something. Not because I was on the phone. Just because I didn’t feel ready to enter the evening yet. Sometimes home feels safe. Sometimes it feels like the place where all the private noise finally gets its turn. I think I was trying to delay that. The hallway was quiet. My bag felt heavier than it was. I could already picture the flat inside — the shoes by the door, the cup in the sink, the dim light in the kitchen, the silence waiting like a person who knows me too well. Eventually I went in. Nothing bad happened. That’s not really the point. The point is that even ordinary evenings can feel emotionally steep when you’ve spent all day holding yourself together in public.