I stopped apologizing before saying what I needed

Dear Delyara, I used to begin almost every request with “Sorry.” Sorry, can you move? Sorry, I need help. Sorry, I cannot stay late. Sorry, this food is wrong. My therapist asked me to count how many times I apologized in one day. Forty-three. Most were not apologies at all. They were permission slips for taking up space. We practiced replacing them with direct language. “Excuse me.” “I need.” “I can’t.” It felt rude at first. Yesterday, my manager asked whether I could cover another weekend. My old response would have been, “I’m so sorry, I wish I could, but…” Instead, I said, “I’m not available this weekend.” She said okay. The conversation lasted ten seconds. Nobody thought I was cruel. Breaking the habit has revealed how often I tried to soften my existence before letting another person encounter it. I still apologize when I actually hurt someone. I am learning that having a need is not an injury requiring one.