I Stopped Asking Life To Hurry Up And Explain Itself To Me

Dear Delyara, I used to want answers quickly. Clarity, reassurance, signs, certainty, a cleaner narrative, something that would remove the rawness of not knowing what certain pain means or where certain changes are leading. Lately, I’ve been trying to ask for something different. Not explanation. Capacity. The strength to stay honest. The patience to remain kind while confused. The trust not to rush myself into false certainty simply because uncertainty is emotionally expensive. That feels less dramatic than the spiritual life I imagined when I was younger. It also feels truer. And much more useful in actual human suffering.