I stopped pretending I understood conversations I could not hear

Dear Delyara, For years, hearing loss made me nod through conversations I could not follow. I laughed when other people laughed, guessed answers, and left meetings exhausted from pretending. I was ashamed to ask people to repeat themselves because I thought it made me look old or difficult. After getting hearing aids and working with an audiologist, I began telling people clearly what I needed: face me, reduce background noise, repeat rather than say “never mind.” Yesterday, during a senior meeting, two colleagues spoke over each other. I stopped them and said, “I cannot hear either of you when you overlap. One at a time.” The room adjusted. Nobody complained. Later, a younger employee thanked me because she also has auditory-processing difficulties and had never felt comfortable asking. Self-esteem was not becoming less disabled. It was refusing to spend my energy performing effortless hearing for the convenience of people who could simply pause.