I teach literature, but I cannot read well

Dear Delyara, I am a secondary-school teacher, and I have hidden my dyslexia for twenty-eight years. I memorize lessons, use audiobooks, assign group reading, and prepare every page days in advance. Students think I pause over words for emphasis. Colleagues think I am careful. The truth is, unfamiliar text can still turn black marks into confusion before my eyes. Tomorrow, inspectors are coming, and they may ask me to read a passage I have not prepared. I have been awake all night practicing possible pages from the textbook. My wife knows I struggled in school, but she does not know the full truth. Neither do my children, who bring homework to me proudly because they believe their father can explain any book. I love literature. Stories saved me before I could read them easily. That is the shame: I am not pretending to love what I teach. I am pretending that love made it simple. I have helped hundreds of students feel intelligent. I still live in fear that one unexpected paragraph will expose the child inside me who was called stupid.