I Think About Money While People Are Talking to Me

Dear Delyara, My daughter is telling me about a field trip and I’m adding up the next three weeks in my head. My husband is talking about the car and I’m thinking about the minimum payment due Friday. A friend is telling me some funny story and I am nodding while quietly calculating groceries, gas, one overdue thing, and how much room I have left to pretend I’m not scared. I hate that money lives this close to my skin now. It has taken over spaces that should have belonged to love, listening, humor, attention, desire. It is there all the time — beneath the conversation, beneath the smile, beneath the planning, like static under every song. That is not just financial stress. That is possession.