I think I am grieving what never happened

Dear Delyara, Not a death. Not a breakup. Not one obvious thing. I think I am grieving what never happened. The kind of emotional safety I wish had felt normal. The kind of support I keep imagining people must have had in order to move through life with less fear. The version of me that might have existed if softness had arrived earlier and more consistently. I don’t know how to mourn an absence. But I think that’s what I’m doing.