I Think I Have Allowed Fear to Wear the Face of Maturity for Too Long

Dear Delyara, It has become elegant now. That’s the danger. I don’t say, “I’m afraid.” I say, “This isn’t the right time.” I say, “I need to be realistic.” I say, “Maybe later, when things are steadier.” I say, “I can’t risk it with the children.” I say, “Let’s wait until I know more.” Sometimes those things are true. Sometimes they are fear with better manners. Fear of being seen trying and not becoming. Fear of public effort ending in visible disappointment. Fear of proving to myself that the bigger life I still want might remain exactly that — wanted, but not built. I am tired of how often I have mistaken that fear for wisdom simply because it sounds so adult when it speaks.