I think I have drifted so steadily that I no longer know when drifting became my main direction

Dear Delyara, It doesn’t feel like one wrong decision. It feels like a thousand small continuations. Keep the job. Keep the peace. Keep the structure. Keep carrying. Keep adjusting. Keep surviving. Keep postponing what doesn’t fit cleanly into the current reality. And over time, that “keep” becomes a path, even if no part of you would ever have chosen it clearly if offered the whole thing at once. That is the unsettling part for me. Not just that I am tired. That I may have drifted into a life that no longer fully suits me without ever having one decisive moment to point to and say, there, that is where I turned away from myself. I am trying to look at that honestly now. It hurts.