I think I kept protecting the memory after the relationship stopped protecting me

Dear Delyara, That’s the most honest version. I was loyal to the shape of what it had once been. And because of that, I kept translating present pain through old tenderness. I gave the friendship more grace than it could hold because memory kept speaking louder than reality. By the time I admitted how lonely it had become, I was already tired from carrying both the grief and the defense of it. I don’t think the ending hurt only because of the loss. It hurt because of how long I stood guard over something already changing.