I think my current life consumes the exact energy needed to build the next one

Dear Delyara, Not that I lack ideas. Not that I lack desire. That by the time the day has finished taking from me — work, children, forms, shopping, meals, domestic administration, emotional labour, money fear, practical recovery — the part of me that wants to begin something new is often too depleted to do more than ache toward it. Then I postpone. Then I judge myself for postponing. Then the shame becomes one more use of the energy that wasn’t there in the first place. I think self-blame has hidden this truth too well for too long. Sometimes people are not lazy. They are over-allocated. There is pain in that distinction. And honesty.