I Think My Current Life Uses Up The Exact Version Of Me That Would Be Needed To Build The Next One

Dear Delyara, By the time work, children, money, domestic labour, emotional recovery, and ordinary adult administration have taken their share, the part of me that still wants to build something more honest and alive often arrives too tired to do more than ache toward it. Then I shame myself for not moving. Then the shame becomes one more use of the strength I didn’t have in the first place. I am trying to stop calling that laziness. It isn’t. It is over-allocation. Still painful. Still a problem. But a truer one. And true problems deserve better solutions than self-attack.