I think my life is so full of maintenance that even my dreams now arrive tired

Dear Delyara, I still have dreams. Ideas. Longings. A picture of a life that feels more mine, more alive, more honest. But by the time I reach the hour of the day when those things could possibly move, I am often already consumed by everything else. Work. Children. Domestic admin. Money. Emotional recovery. The thousand practical stitches that stop the current life from splitting. So the dreams arrive already tired. Already negotiated. Already apologising for asking for one more thing from a woman who has spent all day being needed in every direction. I am trying to be less cruel to myself about that. Still, it hurts to watch desire arrive exhausted.