I Think My Marriage Is Hurting Me More Through Emotional Absence Than It Ever Did Through Conflict

Dear Delyara, That is a hard sentence to write because absence sounds so much less defendable than something obvious. No shouting. No dramatic betrayal. No giant scene. Just not enough reach. Not enough reading. Not enough emotional accuracy. Not enough of that deep ordinary witness that makes a woman feel she is not carrying a whole life alone while standing right beside someone. We can function. Beautifully, some days. Meals, children, logistics, scheduling, finances, practical life. What we do far less beautifully now is arrive. And there is a grief in that which is difficult to justify to the outside world because it comes without spectacle. The marriage still stands. The work of it still happens. The shape remains recognisable. And yet inside it, I can feel parts of myself going untouched for too long. Absence is so easy to underestimate. It still erodes.