I Think People Like My Strength More Than My Need

Dear Delyara, People come to me for steadiness, language, warmth, perspective, emotional containment. I know how to be all of those things. I’ve done it so long that it became one of the easiest ways for me to feel valuable. But I’m starting to notice how much harder it is to bring people the parts of me that are scared, repetitive, ashamed, needy, or not yet graceful enough to make pain sound like wisdom. I don’t think most people mean to love me this way. Still, some relationships seem much more comfortable around my strength than around my actual vulnerability. And strength is a lonely thing to be known for.