I think something is wrong in the design of my life, not only in my mood

Dear Delyara, This is hard to explain because it isn’t one clear disaster. It’s structural. The pace. The access. The emotional labour. The money pressure. The domestic maintenance. The lack of restoration. The endless usefulness. The way I can keep surviving it and still feel less and less like myself while doing so. That’s why I don’t think the answer is simply better sleep or a nicer week. I think something about the architecture of how I am living is too extractive now. And because it is structural, not only emotional, it is harder to change and harder to explain without sounding dramatic. Still, I feel it. Deeply.