I think something is wrong in the structure of my life, not only in my mood

Dear Delyara, This is what I keep circling. If I were just sad, I could name it. If I were just tired, I could rest. If there were one obvious crisis, I could aim myself at it. But this feels bigger and stranger than one mood or one event. It feels like the design of my daily life is now too extractive for who I am. Too much access. Too much function. Too little restoration. Too much emotional labour. Too much usefulness. Too little softness that actually reaches me all the way through. That’s why one good weekend never fully fixes it. Because the problem isn’t only how I feel inside the structure. It’s the structure itself. That is hard to admit. Harder to change. Still, I think it’s true.