I Thought About My Younger Self Again

Dear Delyara, I keep thinking about who I was before I learned to expect disappointment. Not because I was better then. Not because I want to become naive again. But because there was something open in me that I miss. A kind of unarmored hope. Now, even when good things happen, part of me stays slightly braced. Slightly unconvinced. Slightly ready for the shift. I wonder if maturity is always a little sad. Or if I just learned it through too many losses.