I thought about the life I didn’t live

Dear Delyara, I had one of those evenings where I thought too much about alternate versions of my life. Not in a romantic way. In a tired way. What if I had left earlier? What if I had trusted myself more? What if fear had not made so many decisions when I was younger? What if I had become someone else by now? I know this isn’t a healthy place to stay too long. Still, some nights the unlived life sits very close to the lived one. Tonight is one of those nights.