I told my brother to drive home because the taxi was too expensive

Dear Delyara, My brother called me after a party and said he was tired and had drunk two beers. He asked if I thought he should get a taxi. It would have cost more than a hundred dollars because he lived far away. I said, “You’re probably fine if it was only two. Have some water and drive slowly.” He fell asleep at the wheel forty minutes later. He died. Toxicology showed his alcohol level was below the legal limit. Fatigue caused the crash. Everyone tells me I did not know how tired he was. He was thirty-seven, capable of making his own decision. Still, he called me. He literally asked whether he should drive, and I used the price of a taxi as part of my answer. I have spent fourteen months imagining the version where I say, “Stay there. I’ll pay.” One hundred dollars. I spend more than that without thinking sometimes. I cannot hear anyone complain about taxi prices now without wanting to scream.