I told my daughter to stay with the husband she later escaped

Dear Delyara, When my daughter first told me her husband controlled her money and checked her phone, I told her marriage was hard and she should not give up too quickly. I had stayed through difficult years with her father and believed endurance was wisdom. Months later, she told me he had pushed her. I said counselling might help. The third time she called, she was in an emergency room with a fractured wrist. She finally left. She lives safely now and tells me she does not blame me. I blame me. I keep hearing my own voice returning her to a house she was trying to escape. I was so afraid of being the mother who encouraged divorce that I became the mother who normalized danger. Last week, she asked me to babysit while she attended therapy. Her little boy fell asleep on my chest. I looked at his small hand and wondered what would have happened if she had listened to me longer. My daughter has forgiven me more generously than I have earned. Guilt has made her forgiveness almost harder to accept.