I told the pharmacist not to fill the prescription

Dear Delyara, I became dependent on benzodiazepines after they were prescribed for panic attacks. I took them exactly as directed at first, then began requesting early refills and visiting different clinics. After treatment, I had been off them for nine months when a dentist prescribed the same medication before a procedure. The pharmacy texted that it was ready. I drove there and sat in the car for forty minutes, arguing that taking it medically would not count as relapse. Then I went inside and asked the pharmacist to cancel the prescription and contact the dentist for an alternative. My voice shook. She asked whether I wanted a note placed on my account about avoiding that class of medication. I said yes. The dentist used another plan, and I completed the procedure. Recovery used to feel like refusing drugs one day at a time. Today, it felt like putting the truth into a system so a future frightened version of me would not have to rely only on willpower.