I took a loan to bring my mother’s body home

Dear Delyara, My mother died while visiting family abroad. She had always said she wanted to be buried beside my father back home. Repatriating her body cost far more than we expected. Flights, paperwork, funeral director, permits. I borrowed £9,500 because decisions had to be made immediately and grief is terrible at comparison shopping. The funeral happened six months ago. I am still paying. Every month, £287 leaves my account for the privilege of having carried my mother home after she was already dead. I do not regret it. I also resent the debt. Both truths sit together badly. My children ask why we cannot afford a holiday this year. I say money is tight. I do not say Grandma’s final journey is still being paid in installments. She spent her life worrying about burdening us financially. If she knew, she would be furious. That thought makes each payment feel like love and disobedience at the same time.