I took the underground alone after the bombing

Dear Delyara, I survived a terrorist attack on public transport years ago and avoided the Underground afterward. I reorganized work, social life, everything around buses and taxis. Trauma treatment began with photographs, then station entrances, then standing on platforms with my therapist. Months later, one stop. Yesterday, I travelled four stops alone. I chose a quiet time and had an exit plan. When the doors closed, my body reacted exactly as expected: sweating, shaking, the certainty that I had made a terrible mistake. I stayed. At the second station, a man got on carrying flowers. At the third, two teenagers argued about music. Ordinary life kept entering the carriage. I reached my stop and stepped onto the platform. I did not feel triumphant. I felt exhausted. Fear had spent years turning trains into the place where one terrible day was always happening. Yesterday, for four stops, the train was transportation again.