I Used a Bigger Word

Dear Delyara, I stopped saying “stressed.” That word was too small for what I was feeling. Too polite. Too acceptable. Too easy for everyone — especially me — to hear and then move on from without really changing anything around it. What I felt was heavier. Darker. More serious. More like I was living far away from myself even while still doing the dishes, answering questions, getting children ready, functioning in plain sight. This week, I used the bigger word. The more honest word. And once I did, the loneliness changed shape. Because accurate language allows accurate care. That is what I’m learning now. Truth is not indulgence. Sometimes it is the first proper form of rescue.