I wait to be chosen

Dear Delyara, I wait to see if anyone will think of me first, ask before I crack, notice before I explain, feel my absence without me having to advertise it. I hate how much I still want that. I hate how young it makes me feel inside. But the wanting stays. And when no one notices, the loneliness gets sharper because it is not only silence — it is silence after hope. That is much harder to carry.