I Wait to Be Noticed

Dear Delyara, This is the part that embarrasses me most. I wait. I go quiet and wait. I become a little more distant and wait. I answer in shorter sentences and wait. I put my phone down and wait. I stop initiating and wait. Not because I’m playing games. Because I want to know whether anyone notices without me having to create a scene or write an essay about my feelings first. And too often, nothing happens. That is where the loneliness gets sharp. Not in empty rooms. In full lives where I still have to do all the work of making myself visible before care can begin. I know people are not mind-readers. I still ache for this.