I Want More and Feel Ashamed of It

Dear Delyara, Because wanting more when you already have responsibilities can sound ungrateful. Wanting more when you’re tired can sound unrealistic. Wanting more when you’re no longer very young can sound embarrassing. Wanting more when so much of your identity has been built around coping can feel almost disloyal to the life you’ve already made. And still, I want more. More room. More selfhood. More work that feels like me. More emotional truth. More beauty. More margin. More aliveness. The shame around that wanting is one of the things that keeps me quiet. I’m tired of being quiet about it.