I Want Someone to Notice the Small Change

Dear Delyara, Not the breakdown. The small change. The flatter voice. The shorter answer. The way I go quiet in the middle of a room. The fact that I stop sending things first. The face that looks almost normal unless you really know me. That’s what hurts. I don’t want to have to become visibly undone before care arrives. I want to be known enough that a small shift is enough to call someone toward me. Maybe that’s unrealistic. Maybe it’s deeply human. Probably both. Still, that longing is there every day now. And I am tired of pretending it isn’t.