I Want to Be Missed

Dear Delyara, Not in a dramatic disappearing way. In an ordinary, human, emotional way. I want somebody to notice an absence before I turn it into a statement. To feel my quietness. To ask because they sensed, not because I looked upset enough to earn concern. To reach first. That wanting feels embarrassingly childlike sometimes. Still, it is real. And the real sadness is how often adult life teaches us to act as if wanting to be missed is immature instead of deeply human. I think part of me is starved for that kind of emotional evidence. That I matter enough to be noticed before I explain.