I wanted accurate company more than company

Dear Delyara, That’s the shape of loneliness for me now. Not an empty room. An inaccurate one. People can be around, caring even, and still not feel like the kind of company that reaches where I actually am. I don’t always want more voices. I want the right depth of being known. The kind where I don’t have to edit myself down to what’s easy to receive and then feel lonely inside the edit. That kind of company is rare. Its absence has a very particular ache. I felt that ache strongly this week.