I wanted everyone to stop talking at once

Dear Delyara, It wasn’t even shouting. That would have made more sense. It was just too many voices arriving in the same minute. One child telling a story, another interrupting, the television still on in the next room, my husband asking me something practical, my phone buzzing on the side, and me trying to keep the whole room from turning into the kind of noise that goes straight through my skin by evening. I could feel myself going cold. That’s how it happens in me. Not immediate anger. Emotional refrigeration. I answered less warmly than I wanted to. Then I went upstairs for three minutes and stood by the window doing absolutely nothing except trying to feel like a person again before I went back down.