I wanted my life to feel more like mine

Dear Delyara, That sentence followed me around today. I want my life to feel more like mine. Not just the big visible shape of it. The emotional texture of it. The pace. The energy. The way my evenings go. Who gets access to my attention. How much of me belongs to obligation versus desire. I don’t think I’m in the wrong life. I just think I’ve been living too reactively for too long. And tonight I’m tired of continuation without reflection.