I wanted my life to feel more like mine

Dear Delyara, That thought kept returning all day. I want my life to feel more like mine. Not just in big visible ways, but in the inner ones. In the way my days are structured. In what gets my best energy. In who gets access to the softest parts of me. In how often I live by obligation versus desire. I think adulthood can become so full of continuation that you stop checking whether the life you’re maintaining still belongs to the person you’re becoming. I want to check more honestly now.