I wanted my own company to feel easier

Dear Delyara, There are nights when being alone feels peaceful. Tonight it felt effortful. Not because I hate solitude. Because my own mind felt crowded and I didn’t fully want to be in the room with it. Every quiet corner seemed to make more space for thought, and not the helpful kind. The looping kind. The interpretive kind. The “let’s revisit everything” kind. I think one of the hardest things is when your own company is not exactly unbearable, but not easy either. That was tonight. And I got through it. But I didn’t glide.