I wanted not to be responsible for anyone’s emotional weather tonight

Dear Delyara, That was the craving. No soothing. No reading. No adjusting. No staying one step ahead of tension. No making someone else’s discomfort easier to bear because I can feel it before they even name it. I think some of my deepest tiredness is relational in that very specific way — being too often the one who helps keep emotional climates stable. Tonight I wanted to step out of the climate work. And for an hour, I almost did. It felt like relief.