I wanted one evening without being useful

Dear Delyara, I am tired of being emotionally useful. Not because usefulness is bad. Because it has become too automatic. Listening, holding, soothing, explaining, understanding, responding thoughtfully, staying measured, staying kind — all of it adds up. And because I’m relatively good at it, people don’t always notice that it costs me. Tonight I wanted one evening where I wasn’t required to be anyone’s safe person, sensible person, patient person, or emotionally literate person. I wanted to be off-duty in my soul.