I wanted the evening not to become another performance of coping

Dear Delyara, Some nights feel like I’m still coping long after the day is over. Proper rest. Proper routine. Proper emotional management. Proper pacing. Proper use of the evening so tomorrow isn’t harder. Even self-care can start feeling like a performance of responsibility when I’m tired enough. Tonight I wanted to stop performing even that. Not to collapse. Just to exist without making the hour prove anything. I think I got closer to that than usual. And I’m relieved.