I wanted the evening to begin without me

Dear Delyara, There are evenings when I wish I could enter them slightly later than myself. As if I could arrive once the thinking had settled, once the emotional noise had lowered, once the residue of the day had already left the room. But of course I bring all of that with me. There is no delayed entry. There is just me and whatever I failed to outpace before dark. Tonight I moved slowly because of that. Made tea slowly. Changed clothes slowly. Sat down slowly. I think slowness was the closest thing I had to mercy.