I wanted to be driven, not asked

Dear Delyara, I wanted someone else to know the route, the timing, the bag, the stop, the next step, the practical answer, the hidden pressure point, the thing still left to do after we got home. I am so tired of being the internal map. I think that’s why I sometimes fantasise not about holidays, but about passengering. Sitting still while someone else keeps the structure of the hour in their head. It’s not laziness. It’s relief from constant orientation. I would love to know what a day feels like when I am not the one keeping track of where the family is in time.