I wanted to be home before I was actually home

Dear Delyara, All afternoon I had that feeling. Not wanting the house exactly. Wanting the state of being unreachable, unperformative, no longer externally required. The emotional version of home. And when I finally got here, it took longer than expected to arrive inside it. That’s the part people don’t always understand. Sometimes the front door closes and the body is still halfway in the day, still answering, still bracing, still receiving. I miss the kind of life where coming home was quicker.