I wanted to be with someone without having to produce a version of myself

Dear Delyara, Some days companionship feels like work because I can feel the versioning start too quickly. The acceptable version. The manageable version. The lively enough version. The not-too-much version. The socially legible version. Tonight I wanted the opposite of that. To be near someone without becoming a version. To remain tired if tired. Quiet if quiet. A little mixed if mixed. I think that kind of presence is what I most crave now. Not intensity. Safety from performance.