I wanted to cry when my daughter said, “You look tired again”

Dear Delyara, She didn’t say it cruelly. That’s why it hurt so much. She was just observing. Children do that. They notice before they know what to do with what they’ve noticed. And hearing the truth of my face from my child’s mouth made me feel exposed in a way I couldn’t shake off. I said, “I’m okay, just a long day.” Which was partly true. The fuller truth is that I hate the thought of my children becoming used to this version of me. The worn-out one. The half-there one by evening. The one who still loves them properly but has less sparkle, less ease, less softness lying around loose because too much has already been spent before dinner. That sentence stayed with me for hours. Probably longer than it stayed with her.