I wanted to feel less observed by my own standards

Dear Delyara, Not just by other people. By myself. I can be so quick to measure the day while it’s still happening. Was I productive enough, kind enough, efficient enough, emotionally mature enough, calm enough, less awkward than last time, more together than yesterday? It’s exhausting to live under such constant internal assessment. Tonight I wanted one hour free from my own standards. One hour where my existence did not need grading. I didn’t get all the way there. But I got closer than usual. That felt restful in a new way.