I wanted to hear “it can wait” and feel relief instead of guilt

Dear Delyara, That sentence still lands in two parts inside me. The first part hears permission. The second part hears accusation. It can wait. Then: are you sure you’re not just being lazy? It can wait. Then: are you going to regret this tomorrow? It can wait. Then: does a better person push through anyway? I’m tired of how difficult it still is to receive rest without suspicion. Tonight I let something wait. I’m proud of that. I’m also still a little uneasy about it. Both are true.