I wanted to say “I can’t” without writing a whole essay after it

Dear Delyara, Just once. No explanation architecture. No emotional footnotes. No evidence dossier proving that my inability is reasonable enough to count as valid. I wanted one clean “I can’t.” Or one honest “not tonight.” Or one simple “I don’t have it in me.” But the old reflex is still strong. It wants to protect my goodness in advance. It wants to reassure, soften, prove, apologize, manage. It doesn’t trust a boundary unless the boundary arrives beautifully justified. That is exhausting. Tonight I could feel how much extra language I still wrap around basic limits. I don’t want to live that way forever.