I was irritated by the sound of cupboard doors and knew I was done

Dear Delyara, That’s one of my clearest signs now. When ordinary sounds start arriving with edges, the day is already too far inside me. Cupboard doors. Footsteps above me. A spoon dropped in the sink. Somebody asking where the tape is. The kettle beginning to boil. None of these things are the problem, and yet my body reacts to them as if they are personal. Yesterday evening I noticed myself flinching at little household noises and immediately understood the state I was in. Not dramatic sadness. Not anger with anyone. Over-entry. Too many things had already come through the emotional front door and there was no room left for harmless sound to remain harmless. So I did the only sensible thing. I turned off the kitchen light, left two mugs unwashed, and went upstairs before I became someone I didn’t want to be around.